Hate being frustrated.

u know, when u wan someone or something so desperately. and u don wanna bother the others and.. try not to get it BUT when u are so dam desperately to get it. .. the feelings. which is when im not satisfied and i hate being like that.

okay, i make it more specific.in my heart, i wan something so desperately, but i don wan it. i force myself not to get it. u understand? i hate that feeling.

but at the end. i wont get it too. failure rite? okay.. everytime. im just afraid. i dunno wat im afraid of. im just afraid. theres so many things for me to worry about. thats all. fullstop.

like like example, im emo, and i wanted someone to listen to me. and in my mind i just keep thinking bout the same thing. but i don feel like bothering them. cause i will make them emo with me also. so i never talk about it again. =.= i kept it to myself. and that feelings is killing me. im so frustrated.

its simple yet tough for me.

oh ya.. bout the .. um.. i told my parents that i don feel like taking tuition for 1 month. 1st, i told my mum, then, she answer like some how yes? then at night, i told my dad, i said can i don take tuition for 1 month? my dad answered:" then y ur brother can make it?" i was really speechless.. and mad and angry and that feeling is so dotzzz . and then he keep asking me why. so i say tired. and i say i wanna study myself. i say its too rush for me.. after school then straight tuition. then he say: u cannot give up 1.. like this then give up already..... omgawdddddd... im really no more hope to talk to him anymore la.. shit.. i feel like crying everytime i talk about this..

I STOP HERE!